Girl on Fire with Cara Alwill Leyba
Nov 11, 2019
I'm SO excited to be collaborating again with my good friend, mentor, and inspiration in so many ways, Cara Alwill Leyba from The Champagne Diet. Cara is a female empowerment coach, blogger, podcast host, and self-published author of 9 books, including the best seller Girl Code.
Today, on 11/11, and eleven years since she first started this journey with The Champagne Diet blog, she is releasing her 9th book, Girl on Fire: How to choose yourself, burn the rule book, and blaze your own trail in life and business.
I love Cara and her book because unlike a lot of other coaches out there who will tell you they know the best way to do things, Cara inspires you to find YOUR way, to blaze YOUR unique trail and find what lights YOUR fire. She is also extremely relatable, in the sense that she struggled with her weight for years, had deep self-esteem issues, dated guys that were wrong for her, and settled for less.
In this episode, we'll teach you how to identify what self-limiting beliefs you have that are holding you back from expanding into the badass woman that you are. You'll also learn how to "style your mind" to love yourself fully and celebrate your life every day in every moment, not just the "champagne for special occasions" moments. Cara also gives us some actionable tips about how to get out of the comparison game we often find ourselves in on social media, and shares with us what advice she wish she could have told herself years ago about dating and relationships.
The Champagne Diet: Where it all began
Eleven years ago, Cara Alwill Leyba started a blog called The Champagne Diet. Leading up to that moment, Cara struggled with her weight for all her life, had low self-esteem, dated bad guys, and felt stifled and unhappy in her corporate job.
Fast forward 11 years, on 11/11, Cara is releasing her 9th and most highly anticipated book, Girl on Fire. Cara is so proud of this book and so excited to share it with everyone, she even thinks it blows her best-selling book "Girl Code" out of the water!
A born and bred New Yorker, Cara like many of us, followed what we're told is the "American dream" and found a good corporate job in the city. However, with no creative outlet in this job, she felt stifled and unhappy. On top of that, she was struggling with her weight for years until finally she cleaned up her diet, which included cutting out sugary mixed drinks and opting for champagne.
Cara noticed when she drank champagne she felt glamourous. She now believes champagne isn't just for special events. Life itself is the celebration. This thought inspired her to start her blog, The Champagne Diet, which chronicles her ongoing journey of self-love and transformation.
The blog turned into several books, and she continues empowering women through coaching and her podcast, Style Your Mind. She loves helping women upgrade their lives and their mindsets, and to stop waiting for permission to be who they want to be.
Why do we tend to wait for permission?
The first question I wanted to ask Cara is why do we, especially women, tend to wait for permission to be who we are? Rather than just choosing what feels right to us, we are so swayed by other peoples' opinions. Cara believes this comes from the programming we’ve been taught for years. Growing up, going to school, everything is about rules and falling in line. There's not a lot of room for self expression, learning how to follow your intuition, or failing. We have to deprogram what we've learned thus far and begin to live life on our terms.
What is the first step to the deprogramming?
We often don't know where to start in this process of deprogramming. It feels very overwhelming to unlearn everything you know and start again, so I wanted to know from Cara the first steps she took on this new path.
"I was unhappy. I was in a relationship that was not good for me, very tumultuous and unhealthy. I listened to the queues, and was brave enough to think about what I really wanted. Who did I really truly want to be? What did I truly want? This is an ongoing process. We’re meant to change and flow into new versions of ourselves. You have to have the courage to dream." -Cara Alwill Leyba
Why Girl Code and now Girl on Fire?
Cara wrote Girl Code back in 2015 to chronicle her experience newly stepping into the world of entrepreneurship. In this new world, she saw two types of women. Women who were super competitive, and felt there was one way to do things, who were ruthless, and full of drama. Then there were women who wanted to collaborate and to lift other women up. Cara knew she wanted to be the collaborator type of female entrepreneur. Girl code is a roadmap for women who want to shake that feeling of competition and jealousy, and to stop comparing themselves to other women.
It sold 50,000 copies within the first year. Despite the success, she felt depressed and alone. She thought after publishing this book she'd feel some sort of validation and was sure she'd be happy. But the lesson she learned is that happiness doesn't come from external validation. We have to feel happy, successful, loved, worthy on our own without the other stuff, and that's what Girl on Fire teaches us how to do.
Can we become happy and fulfilled by finding the right man?
Just as sustainable happiness won't come from achievements and success in your career and entrepreneurial pursuits, it also won't come from marrying a dude.
"If you’re finding faults in yourself you’ll be finding faults in everything your partner does. Marriage and relationships aren’t perfect, you’re actually bringing in more stress by dealing with a whole other human being. We have to get out of this fantasy mode where everything will be rainbows. What will you do if your partner loses their job or gets sick? You’re just choosing to see the fantasy when the reality is not glamorous." -Cara Alwill Leyba
Tune into the episode to hear our full conversation in more detail! It's a really good one and you're guaranteed to have breakthroughs so get out your pen and paper!
Links
Get Girl on Fire: https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Fire-Choose-Yourself-Business/dp/0692187510/ref=sr_1_7?keywords=girl+on+fire&qid=1573479058&s=books&sr=1-7
Cara's other books: http://caraalwill.com/books/
Cara's website: http://caraalwill.com/
Follow Cara on Instagram and Twiter: @thechampagnediet
Listen to Cara's podcast: http://caraalwill.com/podcast/
Listen to our previous conversation on Cara's podcast, Style Your Mind: https://styleyourmind.libsyn.com/ep-19
Work with Melissa
Need help stopping the cycle of toxic relationships, living happily single, and finding true love? If you're tired of being the only person in your friend group who's not in a healthy, happy relationship, I can help you! Here's how:
- The Level Up for Love one-on-one coaching package, which includes taking the Gumball Love Assessment and Relationship Analysis, four coaching sessions with Melissa and one coaching session with Iain and Melissa as a couple, or
- Join the VIP Private Facebook Group
- Follow Melissa on Instagram: @melissajaneroberts